Random meetings with people you will probably never see again happen everyday. They also increase tenfold when you travel. From random neighbors at campgrounds, to gas stations, to restaurants, park rangers, campground managers, the list goes on. At least 95% of these everyday occurrences are forgettable. It might be a simple transaction at a convenience store when filling up with gas or a quick 1 or 2 minute conversation with a campground manager that wasn't much different from a similar conversation 2 days ago. Most of the others will give you a laugh or something worth talking about for the next 5 minutes. The other select few become one of those random people you never forget.
The most memorable, random person on the trip and the first what the #$%& just happened experience came in Sturgis, South Dakota- home to one of the biggest bike rallies in the country every summer. We arrived at a local restaurant for dinner a little later in the night, maybe 9 or 10 o'clock. It was warm so we decided to sit outside. On a side note, after ordering food, our waitress said, "You guys aren't from around here, are you?" We told her that we were from out of town. She said, "I can tell. You guys are too nice." I don't know what that says about the people who live there but I know our moms love to hear it, and dad, thanks for supporting one hell of a road trip.
The most memorable, random person on the trip and the first what the #$%& just happened experience came in Sturgis, South Dakota- home to one of the biggest bike rallies in the country every summer. We arrived at a local restaurant for dinner a little later in the night, maybe 9 or 10 o'clock. It was warm so we decided to sit outside. On a side note, after ordering food, our waitress said, "You guys aren't from around here, are you?" We told her that we were from out of town. She said, "I can tell. You guys are too nice." I don't know what that says about the people who live there but I know our moms love to hear it, and dad, thanks for supporting one hell of a road trip.
So we make a joke with the waitress and from the other side of the outside deck, we hear some guy laughing at the joke. Some people just show their wild side from the second you meet them. This man was one of those people and he was very eager to talk to anyone willing to listen. After yelling across the deck back and forth a few times I asked if he wanted to sit with us for dinner. Allen, Bub and I were at a 4 person table, and it only made sense for him to sit with us, seeing he was by himself. Now, Sturgis isn't that big of a place, and there aren't many people at a restaurant on a weekday evening about 9 o'clock. What transpired over the next hour led to the legend of Kelly DD.
To the best of my memory, I had a burger, but I can't be sure of it after having my mind blown. Kelly claimed that the DD stood for designated driver, but the rest of the stories he told did not match his designated driver status. He was drinking tea by himself, on the patio of a restaurant, with almost no one else around. Kelly told us some stories, and true or not, they were outrageous. There is a 50-50 chance that ole Kelly comes out there every night and tells different stories to anyone that will listen. There is also a very good chance that none of the stuff he said was actually true but regardless of the truthfulness of the stories, this guy was a character. He had us rolling the entire meal talking about his neighbors and his perspective on life in general. If what he said was true, a good percentage of the ruling elite in the U.S. live within a half mile radius of his house.
To the best of my memory, I had a burger, but I can't be sure of it after having my mind blown. Kelly claimed that the DD stood for designated driver, but the rest of the stories he told did not match his designated driver status. He was drinking tea by himself, on the patio of a restaurant, with almost no one else around. Kelly told us some stories, and true or not, they were outrageous. There is a 50-50 chance that ole Kelly comes out there every night and tells different stories to anyone that will listen. There is also a very good chance that none of the stuff he said was actually true but regardless of the truthfulness of the stories, this guy was a character. He had us rolling the entire meal talking about his neighbors and his perspective on life in general. If what he said was true, a good percentage of the ruling elite in the U.S. live within a half mile radius of his house.
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| Allen managed to snap this picture of Kelly. Afterwards Allen said, "Did you see my flash go off on my phone on my first try?" Kelly was too into his stories to notice such nonsense. |
Kelly had this piece of equipment on his head that looked like goggles morphed with glasses; like some sort of hybrid eyewear that I had never seen before that blew my mind from the start. This meal wasn't much about us telling Kelly DD about anything. This was a full-fledged rant that could have been a stand-up comedy special. Either this guy is a really smart dude, got bored with his life some time ago, and decided to go to restaurants to talk bs with random people to entertain himself. OR this guy just slings it around way too much, has seen some shit, and feels the need to relay the stories to people like us who are just out to have a good time. Here is just a list of the things he told us. These all came directly from Kelly.
QUOTES AND STORIES TOLD BY KELLY DD
A) He spent time in jail for a cocaine problem. Not only did he claim that he got caught for it, but he claimed that he had done it with the judge who sentenced him and a local cop was his dealer.
B) Kelly said that he was in a motorcycle accident some years. "It's okay though, it was probably a good thing. I was on the way to kill my son-in-law for molesting my daughter."
C) "Well hell I don't know. It must just be in the inbred in me."
D) "One of my neighbors was in the situation room, 7 floors under Langley in Virginia, when Obama was killed. Oh, I meant Osama."
E) He considered himself a patriot not a biker. "Why the hell would I want to be part of your bleeping club when I can be by my lonesome and do whatever I want."
F) Had been married 3 times
G) Kelly told us that he couldn't read very well- he didn't have a high school education. "Ahhh shit, I don't really know what that says, I can't read all that good."
H) Mount Rushmore was sculpted by a kkk leader who was exiled to South Dakota instead of being hanged.
I) "Well, it looks like I can't go inside the place. Not with this Bowie knife on me."
J) In Michigan, I bought a pair of $1.50 sunglasses. I have learned over time that I am too reckless to buy nice sunglasses. Before these glasses were lost about 4 weeks later, they had gained legendary status. The brand name and how I referred to them- The Racer X's. Losing them was no big deal, but I'll be damned if the only person I had ever met that owned a also owned the same brand- Kelly DD
K) Kelly was drinking tea by himself like he was drinking beers. And he was definitely a regular there. "Yea you might as well bring me another one baby, I'm definitely gonna finish this one."
L) He said he made $15 grand a week right out of jail. How he made this money remains a mystery.
M) Kelly was wearing 7 or 8 rings. We didn't get into the meaning behind any of the rings, but however many were there, it seemed a little excessive.
N) Kelly led us to the strangest casino that actually had live blackjack- Deadwood, South Dakota. We walked in around 10 pm- and no one was at the 5 tables they had. Most casinos have a minimum of about 75 or 100 different live tables. Deadwood had 5. Minimum bet of $2- never seen that either.
O) He desperately wanted us to go to nearby Spearfish. Kelly claimed that there were all kind of college girls there. How he knew this was beside me. It was either a strange coincidence or really creepy.
P) Kelly's neighbors ranged from "Spook in the CIA plugged into his light pole" to "Situation Room with Osama/Obama" to "Someone who worked directly for the directer of Homeland Security"
Some of he what he told us was a little much for the first time meeting someone. Every single fact could have been true. He could have made it all up. Or it could have been a combination of the two. Whatever it was, this man will go down in history. Well, maybe Kelly DD will only take the honor for the biggest gunslinger on one hell of a road trip.
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